The theme of today seems less about joy and more about heartbreak and hope. Ruff start at home, woke with a bad headache that just wouldn't subside and then lovely little bit of hatefulness with co-workers made me a bit exhausted mentally. Teamwork is such a lost concept in the PM environment. There is no sandbox, just one big lot and we all have to share. Oh my, could I go on and on but I won't. The thing that frustrated me the most is that I am too soft hearted to really stand up and "fight" back. When I get angry, I cry. I hate that about myself and pray it will change over time but it doesn't. Others can get angry and stay stone faced and clear with their words and thoughts but not me. I get all flustered, hurt, angry and quite frankly disappointed. Anyone who really knows me knows I have a kind heart. I never backstab, always share, give more than I take, teach, and well- don't let you fall when I can clearly see the hole you are about to step in. Unfortunately perception is reality and that means I need to pray for ways to show this truth of mine.
There was some joy today. I took blood for my apt next week. That was fast, easy. I was able to come home and rest my weary head and am starting to feel better. My major work crisis is over and resolved. And it is FRIDAY! Next week, I have time off which I desperately need and I have family time planned for Sunday which is always a bright spot for me.
And, that little thing--my weight. I am now down to 295.6 (or a total of ~12pds). And yes, that makes me ecstatic. I have 8 more days to go and on Sunday of Day 15, I will have a nice light real breakfast after I get my final weigh in. If my Dr. approves my bloodwork, then I will keep tracking with 2 weeks on diet, 2 weeks off until I get to my ultimate goal weight of 185pds. At ~30pds each 2 week attempt, I only have to do that through December and then work hard to maintain it. After all, what girl/woman doesn't want an excuse to buy all new clothes around Christmas.
Day 6 Results and Photo: